I used to part of this group. I didn’t love myself enough so I spread myself thinly. It is nice to feel desired, but this is the ego being kind to us and than shooting us in the heart when love does not come our way. Sex does not lead to love, or maybe it does for the very small minority of people, because I found out the harsh way. I seriously thought that by being an adventurous wild child in the bedroom, I would attract a like minded man who would want a relationship with me. It never happened. However, it is nice to feel in control, especially when I am still desired by one of the lovers who treated me so coldly.
So why do we have one night stands? To feel wanted. Everyone wants to feel desired and loved, even the evil people of the world have that sparkling star in the darkest night at the disgust of humanity and how we are so easily manipulated. It is a natural emotional response to life. However, we can spread ourselves too thinly. I used to hang around with people who deemed it desperate to be single, which I had been for eight years until I met my special boyfriend, Jon. To be honest, I was fucked up! I hated myself because I couldn’t hold onto a man. Deep down, I knew my previous boyfriends both hated themselves, because why would one mentally abuse someone he or she loved and try to gain possession with nasty words that are only a mirror image of how one perceives him or herself. In regards to my second love, he was too screwed up about his past to even give me a chance.
If we are in a mentally abusive relationship, it is not us who are the problem, but our partner. If the issues are still not resolved, and one has to take out this anger on another person, he or she is not ready to be in any kind of loving relationship!
In taking that first step to self love, we must be honest with ourselves and know that deep down we do not like ourselves very much. We are not meant to love ourselves. Look at the crap on TV, no woman is beautiful unless they are a size 0, with long hair, clear skin, and a tall figure, and for men, muscles and good looks equals sexy. It’s all bullshit! Everyone is sexy, and if one carries an air of confidence that is more humble than arrogant, we walk the path of sexiness.
Be kind to the body and it will reward us with wonderful happiness. When we feel happy with ourselves and are on the journey to love, with both the self and to seek love, we will attract a partner who mirrors our emotions. Let’s not tell ourselves we are complete failures because we do not have millions in the bank, or do not have the contacts of the Dragons Den Crew. We are wonderful, beautiful, kind, generous, compassionate, and loving. We must tell ourselves we are loveable or else true love is not going to manifest in our life.
So sometimes it’s better to ditch the one night stands and be brave with patience. The right person will come along when we get out there and love thy self. I am not talking of over-the-top vanity, but being kind to the self with nice words and actions.