I had a discussion with my friend yesterday and we were talking about porn. She said that she once dated a man who watched a lot of porn, but he brought those rough elements from the videos into the bedroom. Real life sex is not like that of a porn movie. Okay, porn movies cater for all fetishes, but most of the time, couples like vanilla sex. He started to pull her hair roughly, and it turned her off.
We agreed that we are quite advanced sexually because we both like to experiment. There is nothing wrong with this, nor does it make me a slag/slut/hooker, those are just judgments from inhibited minds who are too afraid to open up sexually.
I talk about my favourite foreplay technique in The Sexual Mind, which is hair pulling. However, this is not taken to mean that I want my hair ripped out. I like quite gentle hair pulling, but I’ll ask if it’s too harsh. However, I’ll definitely cause him pain if he doesn’t ease up. I especially love it while giving a blow job. It turns me so wet. It is one of my top seduction techniques on how to turn on a man fast. Now obviously asking a man for any favour can turn his face into a frown, however, once he starts to hear the moans rolling off your tongue and you’re turning him rock hard, I’m sure he’ll be doing a little more than moaning. He’ll be seducing your neck with kisses, gripping your breasts, and he’ll associate pleasure with hair pulling or scalp massage.
Back onto porn. I have watched one porn movie with an ex-boyfriend and it did nothing to set alight my genitals. However, because it arouses men so quickly, they associate pleasure as being rough sex. If your partner is not into rough sex, you’ll have to request her consent and go slowly. Start off with gentle foreplay and gently probe her sexual mind to find out her areas of interest. Everyone has a secret fantasy they would love to unleash. The question is…are you brave enough to share it!
My friend and I also discussed sex toys, as one of her colleagues bought a sex toy and her husband said, “You can forget about sex if you’re playing with that thing.” He instantly found it threatening. A FUCKING SEX TOY THREATENING, how ridiculous is that? However, sex toys can bring diverse pleasures into the bedroom. It does not only have to be used on the genitals. If it’s a small clit tickler, it can tickle the breasts and harden the nipples, tease men’s testicles, rim the ass, and it is perfect to use to seduce the dick during a blow job. However, if the mind is closed to experimentation, then threat is the first thing that often comes to mind. Change it around. Start to associate toys with pleasure instead of pain. Try to think out of the box.
