The book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is true to nature. Men are very visual creatures, and women are emotional and caring toward their partner. Men are seen as macho to sleep with more women than one can remember, but women employing this action are seen as nasty names I care not to mention.
However, it is a healthy fascination for men to view porn and read about sex. Most men choose to keep this a secret from his partner, but communication is paramount in relationships, and often it is better to share those secret fantasies/fetishes. After confessing to your partner, she may even want to watch the movie with you, or you could delve into your own field of experimentation by recording your own home made porn movie.
Why do Men View Porn in Secret?
This is often a secret kept well hidden. Men like to have a naughty side that is yet to be discovered by the partner, and viewing porn can help to make a man sexually excited. Women need to know that their lover/husband will not think about them sexually ALL the time. They do and will receive gratification elsewhere, whether this is through a pornographic movie, a hot girl walking down the side street, a giant billboard advertising sexy lingerie, or another sexually provocative ploy by the media, men are easy targets around naked women.
Men choose to keep it secret, not because they want to have sex with other women, but because women often deem it as cheating. It’s time women gave their partners a break about porn. Okay, it may not be a nice thought to know that he likes viewing porn and masturbating to the action, but it could also be a quick fix to relieve the body of stress. How will you know unless you ask him?
Most women automatically shut down into insecurity mode when they find out their partner watches and enjoys pornographic movies. The best emotion you can show is support and understanding. Better yet, be a good sport and watch it with him. I find porn to be particularly boring, although there are some cool kinky sites. The women look similar, there is nothing out of the ordinary in the scenes but, as a woman, I understand why it becomes visually exciting for a man.
Men do not view porn because he finds sex with his partner to be unexciting, it is the challenge of trying something naughty, and perhaps getting caught that adds a thrill of adrenaline surging through his loins. Sex therapist and Michigan based psychologist, Russell Stambaugh, PhD states, “Often, one partner has a porn interest, and the other think that’s a problem. It rarely is.”
Studies on men and porn found that just five percent of viewers have an existing problem within their daily life. These statistics are positive considering the huge number of men worldwide. A tracking survey by the Pew Internet and American Life Project found that just twenty six percent of men visited adult entertainment websites, yet only three percent of women viewed these sites.
The Evolutionary Link to Men and Porn
Women should focus their time and energy on their own health rather than worry about why their partner watches porn. Although porn can become an addiction for some men, this seldom occurs in a loving relationship. Sex Therapist, Lonnie Barbach, PhD says, “Some women feel threatened because they don’t think they’re as sexy as a porn star. But it’s not about what he’s not getting at home. It’s the novelty. It’s a turn on.”
Women will still question why men enjoy viewing pictures and movies of other naked women beside themselves? Is one naked woman not visual enough they may wonder. This is what can cause the female insecurity, not being able to understand what goes on inside a man’s mind. Arousal from porn is linked to a variety of centers in the brain. Mirror neurons automatically fire when an action is observed and performed, and this could be the cause for male arousal, especially from porn. However, dependent on what porn scene aroused a man does not signal why the mind reaches arousal.
Russell Stambaugh, PhD points this to evolution. “Men’s brains are hard-wired for easy arousal, so that men are ready for sex whenever opportunity knocks—a propagation of the species thing. With online porn so readily at hand, vicarious opportunities—cue the mirror neurons—are ever present.”
Men are often pushed into keeping their porn habit a secret from a partner because of the stress it will cause. Rather than let it slip, rub your partner’s shoulders, and push her into a sexual mood. Bring up the subject of porn, but do not admit to the fact you watch it just yet. Question her fantasies/fetishes, and then you can subtly link her to yours. If she enquires about your porn habits, it is okay to tell a little white lie to keep her on your side.
State you like to watch porn for a quick release, or if you prefer to be honest, she may respect the fact that you confessed to a love of porn. It is often the anxiety that can make a situation seem inferior to how it should be. Stambaugh added, “More often, the problem is how you talk and how you reveal yourself to each other.”
Porn Channels
The porn industry is growing year upon year. There are a multitude of channels from soft porn to explicit porn, so it is important to get yourself porn savvy before delving into this subject. A really cool website that reviews every known porn sites is The Best Porn.
As I used to review porn sites, I can confirm that many of the amateur porn sites do not update their pictures/movies regularly. If you want to pay for the pleasure, make sure that you are getting your bucks worth. There are porn sites to cater for homosexual men/women, or sites that focus on heterosexual couples.
If you prefer to watch pornographic bondage or fetish websites, there are plenty of these too. Many porn websites give you instant access to additional porn channels. Most of the websites you visit will give you enough free pictures/video access to make up your own mind.
To summarize, men do not watch porn because they do not find their partner physically attractive. Often it is because the mirror neurons fire up in the brain, causing instant arousal. Infidelity should not cross your mind, unless he is watching porn 24/7, but this is quite rare amongst happy couples.
