I have now realised that my ego is trying to ruin my life. When I feel shit it is because I am letting it rule me. I listen to meditation after meditation tracks in the hope that I will awaken to enlightenment. But why should I look to the future when it is already here…in the now.
How many of us look to the past and distant memories that remind us of fear and negativity? That has held me back for so many years. Now I realise that I have my self and my ego. Because I am now choosing to live in the moment I no longer have to dwell on the past and my mistakes. Fuck the past! Why did I bother to waste so much energy?
Four days after listening to an amazing FREE six step meditation from Ascension Help, I now realise when the ego is ruling me and when I am being true to myself.
I have been on a rocky road with my partner, one minute telling him to fuck off, and another getting sudden horny urges to fuck him. My selfish egotistic side wanted to make me feel pain. I suppose it is difficult to understand about the ego because we are taught by society to feel pride when someone gives us a compliment or we pretty ourselves up with make-up and clothes. The ego loves it. The world is ruled by ego. you only need to turn on the TV and listen to the radio for another stupid anti-aging face cream or weight loss program to have manifested. They want us to look for perfection, but we are perfect inside and out…we merely need to search for that truth. It is a sad fact that we are judged on how we look, but I am past that. It is difficult to spend time with some friends who are still so judgemental about others. This is perhaps why I love to spend time on my own because I understand my own mind and how I think so deeply about life.
One can be humble and self-realised without the ego taking over one’s emotions. When you feel fear, hate, negativity, jealousy, somewhere inside yourself has triggered that exact emotion. It is the ego plain and simple. If you become aware of it, thank it for its lesson, and tell it go take a hike or sit down because you are now back in the moment. The moment is all that counts. Not the past or the future. How many of us look to the future and worry about bills and jobs etc? Has it happened? No, so stop worrying! I used to worry about the future, but why waste all that energy on something that will only materialise if you dwell on it.
Living in the now has helped me immensely to understand myself and the two sides I thought I had to live with. Now I can choose to stop listening to the ego who tells me that nothing will work out, or that I don’t deserve somebody to love me because it is bullshit! Feeling worthy of one’s self is in no way vain. My partner is constantly praising me and through ego I have not been able to open my heart and accept it. It is strange to explain.
It is easy to live in the now when past memories do not unleash upon my emotions. Choose a high vibration of love and gratitude and you are on the way to true compassion. I love meditation and always aim to become spiritually minded, but one thing I cannot give up is sex and orgasms.
Listening to my partner on the phone while he watched me rub myself was insanely horny, and everyone ought to try that one. Better yet, record yourself masturbating, and send it to your partner at his/her workplace?
He had four mini-orgasms, and I even forced him to taste himself. I love cum! I love it even better if a man tastes himself. Something about being dirty and dominant turns me on. I like to taste myself and rub it between my breasts in circular motions around my nipples to harden them.
To think my own ego almost fucked up my relationship is a true lesson I have learnt. An even better way to let those negative energies take a hike is to watch a funny video. Now I’m a good driver, but I doubt all women are, especially the ones on this daft video.
